Bi Week

So, apparently, it's "Bi Week." (How do humans decide these things? Lol) And I feel like saying my personal piece about it.  

Basically, I'm bisexual. There's more to my sexual identity than that, but this is bi week and all... So, I'm going to talk about what being bi is about... for me, anyway.  

I've known I can be attracted to both genders for quite some time now, probably since I was in my twenties. As I've gotten older, I've become even more fluid and open-minded, and I happen to be proud of that fact. I wasn't always this way, though...

I recall being a fresh-faced, relatively naive 18-year-old when I was asked by a girl in my alt rock band (I sang) if I thought some people were "born gay." I fumbled for words and said, "I don't really know, but I doubt it. We choose who we are, right?" She then went on to tell me she liked girls and confessed she liked ME! I was flattered, but shocked. I wasn't facing anything about myself yet, so I had only thought I was perfectly straight. I was so clueless back then!

I have since realized what she meant by "born gay." Even though environment and circumstances have a lot to do with how one turns out, we are born who we are. Sure, we make choices and decide whether or not to come out with the truth, but we ARE born who we are. I wish I had realized what she meant back then... But I was too young, and this was the early 90s. Nobody talked about these things, certainly not in the open way we can now. 

I wasn't aware back then of what it meant to be gay or bi or trans or gender fluid, or any of it. But I do now, and I'm proud to be part of the LGBTQIA community.  However, I've heard that bisexuality is frowned upon on, even within our own community. That's insane, in my opinion. We should all be open-minded and open-hearted to every single person who is marginalized and treated unfairly, especially about their sexual identity. If we can't be inclusive, then we are complete hypocrites!

Of course, I'm not without fault. Again, I remember being a foolish teen and thinking, "Is being bisexual just being confused or indecisive?" The truth is, that's what we are all raised to believe: be straight, think simple, do as your told. But humans are not simple, and we have a multitude of feelings, beliefs, and desires. It's ridiculous to limit ourselves in the way that we often do, and yet, we are usually so frightened of complex ideas or changes. Humans are so silly. 

For me, my bisexuality isn't about being fickle or indecisive. I've been serious with my partner for nearly 20 years, and I'm absolutely monogamous. But I can look at a man or a woman and get equally sexually attracted either way. It's no big deal... Because I'm attracted to the person inside, not just body parts. Sure, I notice when someone is physically attractive, but it's truly who they are and what they talk about that gets me aroused. I guess gender matters much less to me than minds. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we all valued souls over bodies?

At our best, I believe humans are beautiful, male and female alike. At our best, men and women both have sensitivities and strengths, and are equals, yet different. At our best, we are all sexy and divine. 

So, in conclusion, here's to bisexuality! May it eventually be accepted into society, and may fluidity itself become a beacon of light for those still in the dark. 


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